The narcissist does not really “exit” his body, nor does he believe that he is doing so. This is not a physical description of an ethereal voyage. At times of crisis, of danger, of depression, of narcissistic failure – he feels that he is watching himself from the outside. In his efforts to exorcise this devil from his soul, he dissociates.Īn eerie sensation sets in and pervades the psyche of the narcissist. He resents this feeling, he wants to rebel, he is repelled by this part in him with which he is not acquainted. Gradually, he feels estranged from himself, possessed by some kind of demon, a puppet on invisible, mental strings. He knows that he is in the wrong and feels ill at ease on the rare moments that he does feel. Otherwise he hurts people around him, or breaks the law, or violates accepted morality. He says things, acts and behaves in ways, which, he knows, endanger him and put him in line for punishment. He does things and he knows not why or wherefrom. The inner battle is so fierce that the True Self experiences it as a diffuse, though imminent and eminently ominous, threat.Īnxiety ensues and the narcissist finds himself constantly ready for the next blow. Yet, it is fully the master of the psychodynamic processes, which rage within the narcissist’s psyche. It is incapable of feeling, or experiencing. The False Self is nothing but a concoction, a figment of the narcissist’s disorder, a reflection in the narcissist’s hall of mirrors. The latter – the fossilised ashes of the original, immature, personality – is the one that does the experiencing. This is a result of the functional dichotomy – fostered by the narcissist himself – between his False Self and his True Self. How does a Narcissist experience his own life? Answer:Īs a prolonged, incomprehensible, unpredictable, frequently terrifying and deeply saddening nightmare.
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